Having a ‘relevation’

When Matt and I were on our honeymoon I had my first “relevation.” What’s a relevation you ask? Oh, well, it’s a revelation you come to while intoxicated and cannot actually say the word “revelation.” Picture this: we were sitting at the bar on the terrace at our hotel, I’m sipping on a pina colada, Matt’s more than sipping on dirty martinis with extra olives and we’re loving life. I had only had one pina colada, but I can’t help myself from eating the olives out of Matt’s martinis, which he had about two or three of. So I get up to go to the bathroom which is down a long flight of stairs, and I find myself holding onto the banister for dear life. If I had fallen down the stairs in front of all those people, which I felt like I was going to, I would have been mortified. Luckily, I did not. I successfully make it down to the bathroom and I am vigorously trying to figure out how in the hell I got so drunk. I only had ONE pina colada. I know I can be a light weight but dear god that’s just embarrassing! And then it hit me, imagine a little light bulb going off over my head. And there it was, my “relevation.” I stumbled back up the stairs and sat down on my bar stool all excited to announce my relevation to Matt. This was our conversation:

Me: Matt! I just had a relevation in the bathroom!

Matt: A what?

Me: A relevation! I know how I got so drunk… it was the olives!

Matt just stared at me, very intensely, like my face was a rubik’s cube he could solve just by looking at me.

Matt: Rach… did you seriously just figure that out? And what the hell is a relevation?

Me: A relevation.. when you like, you know, realize something new or have an epiphany?

Matt: A revelation you mean?

I thought about it long and hard. I swore I was right, relevation just sounded right. But alas, it is not, obviously. How embarrassing. Thankfully I didn’t make this announcement to everyone at the bar, just my husband who knows how weird I can be.

So anyway, today I came to another ‘relevation’ (minus the alcohol, I’m at work people!) When you’re married thinking baby names is almost like thinking about what you’re going to have for dinner that night. Maybe not that extreme, but you get the picture. I LOVE baby names… I always have. It took me years to like my own name so I would always flip through the pages of baby books to come up with a name for myself that I liked better. And so, I’ve always had a thing for picking out names. So today as I was washing my hands after lunch I was thinking about how much I liked Diana Argon’s name, her full name, Diana Elise Argon. It just sounds so pretty, so classy! So I immediately attached ‘Ross’ to the end to see how it would sound; Diana Elise Ross, che bella!? Diana Ross….. oh wait. I feel like I’ve heard that name before? I ran into a coworker’s office and asked her to Google the name for me, I knew I knew who it was I just could not put my finger on it. Clare laughed at me as she immediately recognized the name and then there she was: Diana Ross with her afro in all its glory. Aw crap. Back to the drawing board.

[Here’s a photo of the olives in action. Note the empty pina colada glass.

Judging by the look on my face that this is after the relevation… oi vey ]

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